


Lonesome

by DeathTrapDaisy



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Bard is Lonely, Bard needs a hug, Bard thinks hes a bad king, Desperate Bard, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Smut, Thranduil Not Being An Asshole, Thranduil wants to help, and a lot of sex apparently, doubts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:55:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathTrapDaisy/pseuds/DeathTrapDaisy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bard didn't  realize  what he wanted until he was pushed to the edge, now that he knows he goes after it but all the fears and doubts come with him. Thranduil  doesn't  mind so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonesome

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries and haven't written anything this graphic in a while idk guys enter at your own risk.

Bard found himself staring at the ceiling, he had been strung tight all day the overwhelming loneliness and desire he couldn't swallow down no matter how hard he worked no matter how haggard and ragged he got. That burning in the pit of his stomach never went away. 

He opened his eyes checking to make sure the door was still securely shut. Almost by its own volition his hand snuck down his tight belly to the bulge beneath his night clothes, he groaned in his throat as he squeezed lightly deciding he could not take the wait any longer. The house was quiet and his childen had long been in bed, still staring at his door as if it could burst open at any moment he hurridly pushed his pants down to passed his knees and bunched his shirt up his chest. He took himself in hand the pressure almost made him want to cry out, he bent his knees and spred his legs wide as he began to stroke himself. He carried on this way for some time until he was too lost in it to keep watch, squeezing is eyes shut he ran his thumb over the head moaning into himself his tongue in his cheek as he tried to keep quiet as a mouse. 

The hollowness in his chest had been much deeper than it had been before, of course he missed his wife she was the love of his life but he hadn't gotten to this amount of physical desperation until he so desired that insufferable elf, Thranduil had teased him when they were in Dale before the battle. Bard ran away as fast as he could without offending him and Thranduil hadn't spoke of it since but Bard had thought of little else late in the night when all his kingly and fatherly duties are fufilled. He could go to Mirkwood and see him if he wanted to; he knew the way like the back of his hand. He could take the Barge and in less than an hour be in his strong pale arms, beneath that perfect weight. He groaned thinking of it, his crystal clear blue eyes and pale pink lips. It made him desperate but also ashamed.

Bard sucked his index finger into his mouth wetting it to ease the burn just enough, he lifted his hips up from the bed seeking out his entrance carefully he pressed the digit in. He had never done this before and hissed at the burn at first but once his finger was all the way in it sent him off, his thighs trembled at the sensation. 

He stroked faster teasing himself with his finger experimentally he carried on for a long while the burn easing into numbess. He pushed in one last time before he spurt out into his hand some got on his blanket too surely, he groaned tears stinging his eyes partly for the sting in his body and partly the hollowness in his heart. He retracted his hands slowly breathing roughly before he pulled his eyes open, it wasn't enough he didn't feel sated or calm not even tired. He turned back to the door relieved that it was still securely shut. He sighed getting out of his bed to clean up a little.

He redressed then stared out of the window at the full moon and bright stars, he pulled it open to let in the cool air. Taking in a deep breath he closed his eyes sighing. He turned to get back in his bed but stopped and stared at it for a moment. He wondered what Thranduil was doing just now, maybe something similar to what he'd just done. Wearing his silk night clothes with a goblet of wine in one hand. Bard shuddered at his thoughts his manhood twitched in interest. No it had not been enough. 

Without thinking he turned and got his coat out and put it on with his boots throwing his quiver over his shoulder and grabbing his bow, he stepped out of his room quietly and looked for his guard. 

"I'm going to Mirkwood on urgent business." Bard was grateful that the man at least played at ignorance not mentioning he was still wearing his bed clothes and his face was still a healthy flushed pink. "I'll be back in the morning, please tell my daughter Sigrid." his guard nodded immediately, Bard was a little anxious about leaving the children to run off to the woodland realm however Sigrid had been watching the kids occasionally for the passed year or so and now he had guards to make sure they are safe.

"Aye My Lord not to worry." the young man smiled and Bard pat him on the shoulder.

"Good man." he rushed out after that, avoiding as many of the guards and the few other townsfolk that were out at this hour. He rode his horse to the shore handing him off to another guard to look after before getting in the barge to leave, the guard looked curious but knew better than to question it.

 

OOO

He made good time and had gotten to the woodland gates sooner than he has before he thinks, the elven guards stepped aside letting him through without question. He assumed they remembeed him from the battle, soon he was lead into the empty throne room. Feeling rather foolish he fiddled with is clothes, in hindsight he should've gotten dressed before he came here. He hoped the elves wouldn't get any ideas and talk, he thought of the horror it would bring upon him if his children learned why he left. Worry suddenly struck him, what would his son Bain think of him? Would all respect vanish when he learns he's a puff for the elf king that lives in the woods? He shivered and he felt sick in his stomach over it. 

He was near changing his mind and running away but when he heard that deep sultry voice his feet stuck as if he were knee deep in mud.

"Bowman, what is your urgency?" the elf asked from behind him, his voice was a little raspier than he remembered, feeling guilty for having woken the king who surely after four months was no longer intersted in him or a midnight tryst. When he turned he felt a little better about it because the king was in the same manner of undress and looked a thousand times better in velvet maroon night shirt that reached the floor, jewels trimming his neck and sleeves with a long thick robe that trailed behind him. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you at this ungodly hour." Bard replied, his cheeks betrayed him with a flush of embarrassment.

Thranduil graciously ignored it, he found the look of Bard's hair down loosely around his face very becoming. He wanted to run his fingers through it from root to tip.

"You do not disturb me." he didn't mention the hour though he looked mused from sleep as much as an Elf Lord could - Bard thinks.

"I have not come for any urgent business betwen our lands, not even for any business of kings. I find myself quite regretting this venture and so I must beg your forgiveness and take my leave." he bowed his head and felt embarrassment up to his ears. Thranduil smirked at him.

"I could not allow that, pray what business brings you to my kingdom then?" his voice was like velvet and Bard felt his spine tingle.

"I fear if I tell you I may die of shame." Bard watched as the elf curiously crossed the room filling up two goblets with the same wine they drank in his tent several months ago, he took the one offered to him. 

"My patience grows thin, say what you've come to say or go." Bard was a little taken aback by his harshness but knew he always sounded a lot harsher than he actually felt. Bard drained most of his wine in one gulp thankful for its numbing effect and got his bearing.

"Do you remember the night before the battle?" Thranduil's eyes searched him but he knew of what he spoke. It was the evening Thranduil had propositioned him, he had brought him into a hard kiss and asked him if he would stay or go but Bard in his surprise nearly ran from the tent only stopping long enough to bid goodnight.

"Of course I remember." Thranduil almost seemed proud of it, Bard swallowed thickly before he stepped closer gathering all his boldness.

"I want to stay." it was almost an immediate reaction because Thranduil was in his personal space a long arm around his waist and lips on his lips. Surprised Bard flinched and heard some of his wine splash and spill on the floor, neither seemed to care just now as Thranduil ran his hot tongue over the bowman's bottom lip. Bard groaned granting him access, his head was spinning from the kiss and somewhere in the back of his mind he hoped he hadn't lost the skill for kissing. 

Thranduil unsurprisingly kissed like a professional doing things with his teeth and tongue Bard had never imagined, before he knew it his hips were grinding rythmically into the heavy pressence before him. Thranduil pushed his hand beneath his coat searching for bare skin, Bard regretfully pushed him back.

"Is there somewhere we can go?" he gasped when the Elf's lips traveled down his neck rather than leaving him completely. Thranduil pulled away taking the cup from the stunned man's hand setting it on the table behind him.

"Follow." Thranduil ordered softly and walked from the room, Bard felt strung too tight and too hot beneath his clothes as he followed the king through winding walk ways and stairs finally coming to a room guarded by two night guards. Thranduil gave them an order in Elvish that Bard could not understand but they both nodded quickly ignoring Bard as if he was invisble. Grateful for their graciousness Bard sighed in relief, Thranduil closed and locked the door behind them.

"We won't be disturbed here." Bard glanced around the room the only light coming in from a small window and a bed big enough for four of him, the walls and floors were all maroon or golden with winding designs and everything just looked so -Thranduil. He wondered if this was his private room or somewhere he takes all of his conquests. "These are my private rooms." he says as if he can hear Bard's very thoughts who turned around and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Do you want to get started?" he felt foolish just saying the words but  he still felt hard in his trousers from the kiss and patience was not one of his strongest feats. Thranduil smirked at him knowingly and Bard almost wanted to be angry at his practiced ease. "I-I'm sorry, I've never done this before." 

Thranduil looked surprised but hid it swiftly, Bard felt even worse for saying that than the first thing, he didn't want to seem unexperienced because he wasn't but with Elven kings and Males in general. "I mean, with an Elf-male, w-with a king." damn it he wished he could just shut up now, Thranduil just looked slightly amused and no less interested. "I've always been quite proper I mean." he wished he would just say something already.

"Pray what have you done so I may start off where you're comfortable?" The king looked at him half lidded and Bard thinks he only wants to know for his own amusement, he wants to hear him say the dirty things he's been doing. Bard feels a flush travel all the way down to his chest, Bard's breathing sped up when the Elf stepped closer while sliding his robe gracefully from his arms to the floor. Bard licked his dry lips and found his hands removing his overoat I'll bet a bit clumsier.

"Is it very important?" Thranduil smirked slowly running his hands up from Bard's exposed wrist to beneath his sleeves, he can feel the swift beating of his heart against his finger tips.

"It will not change my opinion of you, Bard. Either way I will have you." Bard could see it in him now, the desperation well hidden behind graceful moves and slow touches. 

"Than have me." he barely finished the sentence before Thranduil was on him again, hands running over his clothed body as he carefully removed each layer; stopping just long enough to cup him through his pants which was the only article left aside from his boots. Bard felt his knees go weak as he pressed into the warm touch, Thranduil's lips moved down to take him with another kiss. Bard let his hands roam freely when the elf gave him no cause to caution his movements. Bard keened in the kiss when Thranduil queezed him in his palm. "Quickly my lord, please."

"Say my name." he said as he pressed the bowman down until he was laying on his back on the expansive bed, then pulled off his boots one at a time.

"Thranduil, Thranduil." the elf smirked at the breathless sound of his voice his bare chest rising and falling with laborous breaths, without instruction Bard moved up the bed until he was laying against plush pillows covered in silk they smelled of wild flowers like Thranduil. "Please." he bent his knees and spread his legs wide his erection twitching when the elf took in the sight hungrily. He knew what he must look like, a wanton whore, but he wouldn't lie to himself he was wanton.

"Since you've asked so nicely," he flirted and with a smooth movement he untied the ties around is neck and let his gown slip from his shoulders and off revealing a completely naked elf beneath. Bard's eyes took him in hungrily and he just wanted to touch every single inch of him, Thranduil moved to settle between his spread legs pulling his pants away slowly. Bard immediately rolled his hips up trying to make contact his hands fisted in the sheets, Thranduil finally gave him some relief as he set a hand beneath Bard's knee to hook his leg around his waist.

"How shall I have you, Bowman?" he asked and Bard flushed again but he knew what he wanted.

"I want you in me." If Thranduil was surprised he didn't look it.

"As you wish." Thranduil reached over him getting out a small bottle from the nearby nightstand and set it beside him, he touched him reverntly leaning over him to take a nipple in his mouth. Bard moaned running his fingers through his hair, Thranduil continued to play with him until Bard seemed like he was going to burst if he didn't get on with it. Thranduil sought out his entrance after slicking up his fingers. Easily slipping one finger inside, Bard sighed almost relieved which was unusual for a virgin to this. Thranduil looked at him curiously, Bard felt even more so embarrassed than he already was. 

"I am not the first to be in you tonight." he stated matter-of-factly and Bard flushed his eyes unable to meet the others.

"You're very keen." Thranduil stopped there, he did not wish to be his second. To be one of the many this bowman felt he could seduce into his bed, he had said he has never done this before. Thranduil has known many liars but thought Bard was an honest, honorable man. One he has not seen the likes of in centuries. He wanted this moment to be......special.

"Did you think I would not know? That you could seduce me for your own amusement? Play coy and innocent?" Bard was immediately aware of what the problem was.

"No, I've never with another- it was me -I did it - to myself." he was shaking with eyes downcast, he felt ashamed, embarrassed and weak but Thranduil softened; his hand moving back to massage his inner thigh softly.

"Why my dear bowman would you deny yourself company?" Bard didn't know the answer to that question, for honor? For his people? No, for his children.

"All I can say is I'm not denying myself now." he answered after a moment, their eyes met and there was something burning behind those icy irises Bard couldn't quite pinpoint.  

Thranduil hurried after that, not for himself he liked to take things slow but he had pity for the poor lonely bowman who was now arching and writhing beneath him with his hands digging into the bed and mouth muttering curses he couldn't quite make out. Thranduil crooked his fingers into that spot inside of him. 

Bard was shaking with his eyes clamped shut one fist in the sheets. He threw his other arm over his eyes to hide and he was flushed red all the way down his chest. Thranduil thought it was the most beautiful sight he had seen in an age; however he felt sorrow for him. He was so lost looking, as if he had finally met the end of the line. 

With a groan he tried to contain Bard came hard, heaving breaths his tight grip loosening slowly. He hadn't entered him because he seemed far too content to interrupt besides Thranduil was more than happy just to watch him though his neglected member was throbbing, carefully he retracted his fingers and Bard choked back a sob at the feeling. 

"Are you alright?" Thranduil asked after a moment stroking his lean leg the Bowman nodded licking his dry lips.

"Y-you didn't - I'm sorry I-" Thanduil hushed him and thought his Bowman has had quite enough for one evening.

"It's alright." he cooed softly reaching up to pull his arm from his face, he wanted to look him in the eyes. He looked just as hungry as when he had gotten there and no less lonely. He looked lustful but behind his eyes there was sadness.

"No -I" he stopped not having the words to say what he wanted, but it was obvious when he leant up kissing the elf sloppily with one hand on the back of his neck to pull him in. When he pulled away without warning he rolled over on his stomach then rose to his knees putting his bum high in the air in front of the elf and looking back over his shoulder. "I said I want you in me." Thranduil couldn't deny the sight was almost too much to bear, his hands moved to run up his thighs to his lean hips.

"I cannot deny I greatly desire you." he said softly but he did not want to overwhelm him, it was his first time.

"Please, Thranduil, please." he shuddered pressing back and the elf ran his hand up his spine making him shiver. "I don't know when I'll be able to return, please." he couldn't stand to see him begging like this, Thranduil moved forward slowly entering him. 

He wanted to be gentle but the bowman kept pressing back against him and begging for more, harder, faster, deeper. As if he were trying to punish himself for something. Before it was over he was riding him hard Bard's hands fisted around the headboard bars propped up on his forearms. He was rythmically grunting and groaning though he tried not to, his back arched just beautifully. 

He came again just before Thranduil who was spreading gentle kisses all along his shoulders despite the brutal pace, Thranduil was nearly silent the entire time just sighing during his release before he collapsed on top of him. 

Thranduil could feel him shaking in his arms which worried him as he pulled away to lay next to him. No more words were passed as Thranduil carefully cleaned him up with a warm rag though he watched him closely, Bard sat at the edge of the bed but did not look at him turning his cheek when he tried to kiss him. Thranduil turned placing the cloth away when he looked back at him tears were running silently from the corners of his eyes. Afraid he had hurt the bowman he knelt down in front of him, he kissed his temple wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

"My dear Bard, have I hurt you?" Bard shook his head his rough hands moving up to hold Thranduil's face, one thumb running across his bottom lip they kiss now slow and lingering until Thranduil moved back.

"You've not." the bowman rolled over onto his side and curls into a ball, Thranduil watched him for a long while. "I'm quite tired you see." he added when all the elf seemed interested in was looking at him naked as a babe rolled up his tears still falling. He wanted to ask what was troubling him.

"Rest." Thranduil said pulling the blanket up over the bowman who looked much younger now than he ever had before. It was a long while after that but Thranduil eventually joined him in the large bed, fingers running down his spine softly Bard flinched and moved away from him as if the touch hurt. Confused Thranduil moved away and kept his distance.

 

Hours later Thranduil woke to the soft sounds of weeping behind him, he slowly turned to see Bard sitting on the edge of the bed weeping into his hands, very quietly still naked as the day he as born his dark hair was like a veil around him hiding him from the outside world. "Bard?" he asked quietly the bowman flinched and wiped his eyes.

"I'm fine." he said before the question could even be asked. Thranduil sat up beside him staring him down, Bard kept his eyes downcast and his arms wrapped around his ribs as if he may fall apart.

"Tell me, what troubles you so?" his tone was surprisingly soft, Bard was never one for one night stands. He only ever had relations with his wife but desperate he came and asked for this. He felt guilty; guilty for giving in to his sinful desires, guilty for abandoning his children if only for one night, guilty for bringing his companion into this mess, just guilty, guilty for everything down to his very core.

"What will my children think of me come tomorrow? I've abandoned them in the night, run off in shame, I've ruined our friendship, I've fornicated, I'm unpure now don't you see? I'm a sodomite, a sinner-" Thranduil reached out to touch his hand but the bowman flinched away from him. "Don't touch me!" Thranduil pulled his hand away, he didn't feel hurt or rejected, he only felt that he must help this man to see what he really is. "My children, my chil.." he broke down again covering his face in his hands.

"You are nothing less than honorable, brave, kind, pure and extrodinary King of Dale. You have done right by your people and you're children. You are a wonderful father and I dare say your children will look at you no differently. They love you as you love them, I believe if they knew how lonesome you had become they would want you to come see me. You have nothing to fear." Bard shuddered still unable to look at him but this time when Thranduil touched his back between his shoulder blades comfortingly he leant into the touch.

"I'm not a king, I don't know what I'm doing I just wanted my children to be safe." Thranduil was glad the king was confiding in him finally but it made him sad to hear his voice quiver.

"You are a far better king than any born king I've ever known, you judge yourself far too harshly my dear." Bard didn't know he could be so sweet when he kissed him on his shoulder arm wrapping around his back. Bard leant into his side sighing heavily.

"Truly?" Thranduil kissed him behind the ear.

"Truly." his tense edges deflated and Thranduil cupped his face in his hands. "I hold you in very high regard, when I need to find good left in this world I look to you." though Bard's eyes are still red from his tears he leans forward and they kiss deeply only moving back to press their foreheads together. Without reluctance Thranduil pulled him down so he was resting in his arms with his face against his chest. Finally he fell into a deep sleep for much needed rest.

 

OOO

 The next day Thranduil insists he travels back with Bard because he was so tired from the evening but wanted to be home before his children woke up. They snuck into the front door to find his entire family sitting in the living room, Sigrid stood up and hugged him.

"Da' the guard told me you rushed out last night, what's happened?" Bard had a lump in his throat but smiled through it when they pulled away, he knew he must look hagard and worn out because he feels it just as much.

"I'm afraid I drug him away, I had some new wine delivered and I don't like to drink alone." Grateful for him stepping in like that Bard gave him a smile.

"He was with you?" she looked confused and Bard's stomach twisted, she knew she must. She was going to be disgusted. "Well bless me, Da needs some friends." 

"Sigrid!" shocked at her Bard scolded though she only smiled and curtsied at the elf king, Bain giggled from the couch where he was sitting.

"Well its true and a nicer friend I couldn't find my lord." Thranduil was smirking at his bowman who looked a little flustered having been caught sneaking in still wearing his night clothes from the day before with an elf at his heels. "Or a more beautiful one."

"Your daughter has very good taste." He smirked and Bard hates it when he gets cheeky.

"Please whisk him away more often." Bard feels embarrassed but he's pretty sure Sigrid knows what happened, Bain may as well luckily Tilda probably does not.

"Aye, he needs to learn to relax." Bain chided while whiddling away at a stick.

"I shall try my best." Thranduil bowed his head with his hand on his chest very kingly and Sigrid smiled.

"Don't you all have chores to get done?" Bard jumped in betrayed by the redness of his cheeks and Sigrid sighed rolling her eyes, Picking up Tilda and putting her on her hip, Bain got up and followed.

"Yes Da." she replied and Bard only smilled ruffling Tilda's hair as they left the room.

"Da needs a special friend, My Lord." both men gave her a look, Bard embarrased and Thranduil amused. 

"Go!" Bard ordered and she skipped from the room, Bard sighed and sat down rubbing his face in his hands. 

"It would seem you have no reason to worry." The elf said glad as much as Bard must be to know it.

"I fear I will be run out of the house to come see you when I'm being over all tiresome though, only to come home and bear the teasing." Thranduil laughed and it sounded like liquid silk. Setting a hand on his shoulder.

"Better than the alternative." Bard smiled checking the doorway before he pulled the elf down into a chaste but sweet kiss. "Visit me tomorrow night when you've regained your strength." Bard flushed grabbing the elf by the wrist as he tried to walk away.

"I've recovered enough and I believe my children would all but push me out the door if I let you leave alone." Thranduil smiled and was not in the least opposed to the idea.

"Then lets not disappoint them." To Bard's delight th Elf winked.

"We'll stay for dinner and go after that." Thranduil nodded in agreement as Bard stood up drawing the elf into his arms glad to see another side of him.

"Good, I have more wine than I can drink alone." Bard smiled kissing him on the jaw beneath his ear.

"I may have to take advantage of it this time."

"You may take advantage of more than that." Thranduil flirted then nipped his bottom lip when he kissed him this time then pulled away damn near strutting from the room and Bard knew that he was teasing him.

 


End file.
